Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour Then leaf subsides to leaf So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day Nothing gold can stay -robert frost-
Friday, May 25, 2012
- 2:22 am
a glass of sheridan's in the midst of a thunderstorm
rearranging stuff
fin
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
- 7:41 pm
i said i would and here i am. here i am in a new space, a new place; its almost another life, and the journey to this has been long and arduous. seven years ago (has it already been so long?) i left the sunset house; a different world. an older place where fridays were the best because it meant that saturday and sunday was on us which in turn meant football at the park with about 30 other people who were equally delirious at the prospect. then again those were different days; memories of hours spent in the warm glow of the dying day met by the coolness of oncoming night. there was a sort of security to the constancy of happenings; i was the master of my world.
then, a long journey to other places; the house in bishan, the house in bukit timah, the house in thomson. now i am here, watching the night fall, turning the tall trees that loom down outside into tall shadows against the backdrop of the velvety sky. sometimes, there are stars and they seem tangled up between the intertwining branches of the trees; diamonds peering out through the darkness.
i once looked on these things with open eyes until i had to throw myself into the progression towards where i now sit by the window of my room. next year will be my fourth year of study as a student of the law; and then what? i don't know. in the silence these questions lose their importance.
my eyes are open again.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
- 9:32 pm
i know its been a while since i've caught this particular bus, but im here now, catching the upswing on the down low. things havent been this quiet since the last time Studious Maximus the Amazing Wonderdog Who Was Librarian of the Year in Secondary Two decided to throw a party; but here we are now, with a giant sometimes, maybe, staring us in the face. too much uncertainty it seems; hell, well welcome back. constancy'll kill you, yknow.
there is a sort of darkness in this world; a deeper shade of black, that sneaks up on you slowly, as you stare wordlessly up at the night sky wondering where all the stars have gone (don't look straight at them maybe, someone once said). it pads along quietly, sneaking up on you, stretching out inquisitive tendrils before wrapping itself so completely about you that you are blind. it is a strange kind of darkness; but not one unfamiliar. you can bristle and snarl and tear it away but eventually it leaks into you to be welcomed like an old friend, clasped firmly to bosom. in this new darkness, there is silence; fainter lights burn brighter.
so have come and gone the last days; a burning away of what was; a terrible fire to stave away the dark with. even then, as the glowing embers of dying flame begin to cool, it rushes in greedily to fill in the new void; as if keen to retake former territory.
there are many things left unknown, things of this world that i do not know; but that i can accept. for there are three worlds waiting to be found and the irony is that the one that is most apparently real is the one most artificial. if you close your eyes hard enough, and open your heart wide enough, you may find the room, the room that is not the room and the world behind your eyes. and it is the memory of the reality of that second place that will forever sustain me.
this is a strange kind of darkness; a false amelioration, but it is no stranger. i will deal.
fin
nothing gold can stay
mr lovva lovva
akesh*
25 on 10.6.13
Gemini Dragon
foxmastert22@hotmail.com
smu skool of law
raffles junior college
sunset way
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