Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour Then leaf subsides to leaf So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day Nothing gold can stay -robert frost-
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
- 9:58 pm
there are shadows that stretch long into the night, barely discernible but for the fact that they are slightly darker than the darkness itself. these are things we do not hear of or speak of, for they are shadows that skulk the very depths of your soul, that rend and tear as claws leaving long furrows of fleshed hurt running the length of your battered heart. it is the being of fantasy we trust the most openly, it is the longing we welcome like a stranger in the night; it is amour, and it burns.
just as suddenly, we are overtaken by grief, its inexorable surge causing it to plunge on ever downwards, hilt following to a place where we allowed that stranger to reside; that despised stranger, to excise him by force and leave us empty. for only through despair is found deliverance, and the ultimate sufferings are often marked by ascension to a new divinity and a heightened state of reason. their movements are calculated, precisely engineered to motion towards some new purpose, and light shines from within their eyes. we were once like them, but lost reason to fall again and so the cycle is renewed.
they say that the eyes are windows to the soul. yet, this glass does not shatter any more. they glaze over to live in memories where sorrow is forgotten; only to rush back like an ever increasing tide, a deluge of lost dreams that grows with every passing day. mercilessly, the glass never shatters, and it is cruel, a twisting sorrow. its dark flame burns and blackens the heart, hardening it to a lump of coal and eventually crumbles to ash. we do not deserve our hearts, for they bring us no solace.
emptiness is not real until something highlights the void. it is not there until it is filled, and then gone again. the wholeness of being for that while leaves a void so cold it gnaws at your soul. by now, you look desperately for somehing to hold on to; like how i found my stage. acting is freedom; the freedom to be someone else and do whatever you like. it is the ability to pretend, for a little while, in a world of your own creation, where everybody gets to forget.
for all that we are, and all that was.
fin
nothing gold can stay
mr lovva lovva
akesh*
25 on 10.6.13
Gemini Dragon
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smu skool of law
raffles junior college
sunset way
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rackin' em up since before you were born
(january 2004)