amour amour

Thursday, August 07, 2008

- 12:52 am

Its like that, when a hundred thousand thoughts are flying through your head, and then suddenly nothing. suddenly, emptiness, and you need to stop and really think about what you want to say next, what you can say next; to break out with something so remarkably different that itd be good; but you end up messing up instead. when you discover that something you just saw superficially turned out to be something something more; but you end up messing up instead. because it gives you freedom, gives you liberation, but you end up messing it up so completely instead; because you cant be yourself; because you suddenly find youve lost yourself and dont know what to say; should/shouldnt/can/will this do?/this wont do/i dont know say. in the end, you reign in silence, far away; just to hope not to not know what to say; and wanting so dearly to be able to say what you know not to say.

o miserable creature is man!//
he who saith not what he feel,
and feeleth not what he saith.

how does man deal with the deluge of emotion that comes pouring his way, especially when sorrow travels forth from its temporary refuge, beaten back by some new shortlived joy? like the beast of wrath roused from slumber, but to live far longer and more potent; like a slow working poison.

surely such sufferance in live long understood to be devoid of meaning is not to be borne. Surely sufferance is an unnecessary phase, for through death we ascend everything to return to the nothingness from which everything came. but then we live, if only for a while longer, just to see what happens next. life is a hook; its bait is hope.

we are all as thralls to this bait, and ascension possible only through mastery of understanding.

and sometimes you have to stop and wonder.

to sit and think and wonder. explore tremendous areas of nothingness and traverse vast expanses of space and time on a whim. guess barney didn't know he was sitting on a goldmine, at least till kids started kow-towing before him calling him der 'nuts, cheese and celery' meister. that was the signal to start sneaking crack into the whole suit and spend days lying about on gullah gullah island splitting a joint with tinky winky and the rest of the van der wanker gang. sometimes the brady bunch comes too and starts the whole we're better than you thing with the 70's show gang, but hey! when you're in crack wonderland, everybodys friends at the end of the day. just ask ali g.

the message of the day is to stay drug free, especially when theyre released by super secret government organisations in a super secret international superpower in a super secret bid to quell the youth and blame everything on the hippies. oh yeah, and communism. thanks vietnam. i think i could be a bit outdated though, specially since little jimmy from the block told me his mars bar came off with a big "beware of terrorists" sticker on it. he tells me it scares him especially since the bad man on the wrapper looks like uncle masood who owns the magazine shop down the corner and gives free candy to the kids. mommy and daddy say he looks "ethnic", so stay away from him. maybe he's in one of those super secret things! maybe he's trying to poison the kids! how are we gonna build a better future with no kids?! aaaah the world is topsy turvy but no worries everybody the government is gonna protect us and smash poverty at the same time by bringing liberty to irate i-raq and making that big bad saddam guy feel bad. someday, we'll achieve the american dream; of a global america where everybody has to give us their oil. i mean i know its all "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" mommy, but why is daddy still in afghanistan? and why hasnt he written for the past year? mommy im scared. how are we going to pay the mortgage and remain all powerful rulers of the universe- uh i meant benevolent superpowers if those pesky indians and chinese keep their growth rates so high?

speaking of high growth rates, last i heard, we hit 7.7% back here in singapore. not bad for a little red dot huh. you can bring all the shazaam back after malaysia come down to the national stadium for rollin rollin rollin good times with moe alkaff and the rest of the young lions. they say its all blood, sweat and tears down on that pitch, but all i see is mud, grass and a bunch of mistimed tackles with just a smattering of teen spirit. and lets not forget the generous donations handed over to some of the opposing sides. the way we're going maybe in 15 years when agu casmir retires we might even get to sign obafemi martins when he's 37. or we could just cut to the chase and pick up romario. fun, fun, fun!

theres always a time to move on. so move on. you'll find it waaaay more exciting than collecting stamps or discount coupons off the new paper. and lets not forget everybodys favourite 'yogam' hour with the mole in the hole. if you can see him that is.