- 3:10 pm

inclement days




fin

- 10:50 pm

good times at sunset in between soccer with lily nick and harriet. pardon the appearance, i was in the middle of a game and very sweaty and not so tired (iron constitution y'all ;p) by half time


with lily. mr mcconnells daughter- and nick is somewhere around.


here with harriet. see how her hair is magically lifted by my psychic powers!


lily and nick- so sweet hahaha

and then liverpool won 3-0, gonzalez kuyt and riise. good stuff. results tomorrow, and in the words of this very vulgar kid in malay class in primary three, atalakunci! (pronounced at-tal-la-kuun-qi).

lets get it on.

fin

- 12:27 am

class party friday night at brewerkz was awesome. a01d the most happening class in skool; so haz and bhav were a bit disappointed for the lack of gorby but at the end of the day, its all good.








fin

- 11:30 pm

so im bruised. my left ankle has been through the wars again and im bleeding from my right knee. my palms are sore from having tripped over a root at full tilt in sunset today and my back is hurting like a bitch- but im happy.

im happy because im scoring again after so long- bagging a hat trick on saturday and another one today- thats four in two days. so we lost 6-5 yesterday but won 5-3 today. im happy because ive discovered that my hobo alter ego, pietr, has psychic powers which he uses in tandem with the evilly cackling madame shadhee, mystic lady extraordinaire. im happy because liverpool smashed three past tottenham and two past newcastle without conceding. im happy because sital is back online nowadays. im happy that i met my brothers yesterday. im happy that my dear sister lily is now going out with nick and that harriet is okay. im happy because in a short while, i will go to sleep and have a dreamless night of rest.

and im happy that tomorrow, ill be back to getting prepared for my a's. be lookin forward to them archies but im sure you'll pretty much enjoy 'stories'.

fin

- 2:57 pm

everyday
is brighter than the next day
at least
thats what you think

everyday
is brighter than the next day
at least
thats what you think


fin

- 9:53 pm

fur immer

last paper tomorrow, so yeah.


hope i did good on frost.

Nichts ist fur dich
nichts war fur dich
nichts bleibt fur dich
fur immer


fin

- 11:20 pm

the sound of your voice
playin on my memory

history was exhausting.

"I like friendly breasts that swell with pride when they see friends."
-azizul kamal shah

sarah (hazmis') went something close to insane while studying
bhavan got accused of licentious by sarah nadya
so whats new?
aside from the star splitter


2 more days.
happy birthday mansh

fin

- 12:41 am

studying for most of the day again. so whats new? aside from being jealous of people happily taking naps at like bloody 5 in the afternoon. did a good bit of studying with zul hazmi divya and bhavan today. divya kept asking hazmi where sarah was and bhavan kept pointing out random girls until azizul told him that just cos hes snoop dogg dont mean he can go round tellin us who's who yo. ABCDPGC! that happens to be one of snoops lines in this song rap city by xzibit. i never knew he could get so bad. i have stolen one of divyas markers. it is know mine, especially since zul and i hypothesized that since divya means divine moorthy must mean cow. anyways, we all ended up laughing about this fat kid (twice the size of louisiana- and then some) who happily went and asked his best friends girlfriend out (for the third time too!) and then it was real funny cos we showed bhavan the post zul did because of that and he got the shock of his life hahahaha maaaan. the poor girl came screaming to us after the math paper- our prayers and thoughts are with you sindhu. (so maybe thats a lie. theyre with our preliminary examinations and puff the magic dragon.) gonna get my international history groove on tomorrow, and hit the gym real proper like. if im feelin proper like.

i miss my dear darling sister rachel whos off in manchester city for the next three years. reading her blog (www.midnightscreams.blogspot.com) made me cry because i now realise how truly precious and important to me she is as a friend and i cant wait to see you again, dearest sister and i miss you very very much.

in other news, i am very kelver.

nihilist says:
sleep? while away the hours staring into space? there are so many things to do
★aruna; baby's black balloon makes her fly says:
ahahha going down to rj for a random rehearsal sounds like more fun anyway haha
nihilist says:
haha yeah
nihilist says:
hey ever noticed how whenever you add "for old times sake" at the end of a request stuff inevitably gets done?
nihilist says:
eh, one round of tennis lah, for old times sake
dude, pick up some chocolate for me, for old times sake
hey, lets beat up that old lady and steal her gold chain for old times sake
★aruna; baby's black balloon makes her fly says:
that is true..

how come i am so smart ah?
its a friday night and im so tired. how the mighty have fallen.


fin

- 12:00 am

cos things aint how they used to be


i miss home
i miss ramya and thenu
i miss fifi and figo
i miss james and sital and rachel
i miss rachel and grace and lily
i miss moonlit walks down sunset
but i dont miss love, cos love sucks

but i love papa
and we deal with change

she said the battle's almost won

im thinkin of all the places ive lived. never really thought there were that many.
singapore, middlesex, UK, paris, spanish village, 100 sunset way, clementi park condo, 100 sunset way, the rafflesia condo and then next year ill probably be movin to around holland village.

my 7th house. god but i do miss home.
heard some kid committed suicide today.
real sorry for him, but i feel more for his parents.

we're only seven miles from the sun

lifes like that i guess.
(life as we know it doesnt show anymore. damn.)

fin

- 9:42 pm

did you know that when people who dont know anything about their exam content study together they become smart? because its so much fun on the second floor of the library everyday with zul, hazmi, sarah, charles, yowie and bhavan. and of course gorby. dear dear gorby. if only you knew how hazmi zul and i love you so! and now bhavan too! gorby you the best, especially when we cleanin windows. i am however terribly despondent because i done finished all the tintin comics including this new one in the library about tintin in russia (and its the first one ever done too! brilliant herge). you'll find mp3s, comics, books and papers all over our tables, and on occasion sleeping people. like how the library has all these new "Lets Share Tables!" signs all over them- and sarah was sleeping on it so somebody went and changed it to "Lets Share STDs". haha.

the other day we were engrossed in discussion (okay lah telling jokes) when this library goblin came to our tables and asked very loudly "is this a party?!" with his shortshorts and very very hairy legs which brings up the question as to whether this is the place for shortshorts and hairy legs. "Please disperse!" what you gonna be throwin tear gas grenades at us next? anyways zul was leaving so we waited for him to leave before going back to the usual. cant stop us man. stallys blog is gone but bhavan and i done gone found a replacement just as fuck-filled and funny- man! really makes you glad you're not overweight and 42.

we been eating so much id a thought id put on a ton of weight but as it turns out my pants are suddenly very loose which means that studying has actually been burning calories. time to release my new mass produced how to lose weight without excercise book. its gonna be a hit in the US (and maybe kaalalit nunat/greenland). then zuls friend divya or somethin-summat from cedar been droppin by to join us for like a little bit so bhavan promptly went and stole like all forty of her markers. nice girl. anyways yeah lit paper today was an absolute drag but in the end i decided not to do three context questions and only did one, with two open ends and that happy quote, "'twas my fathers poniard and id be loathe to see it grow rusty." hurrah for lit. its over. studying till eightish everyday and time just flies on by. time to get down for int. history and the other lit paper, and my econs which has become surprisingly decent. *proud*!

gosh its really awesome this studying thing. leaves you too tired to think much.
this damien rice guy is somethin somethin good. awesome stuff been happenin- dheeshas internet lasted long enough for me to send her a bunch a songs; its been my internet thats been flippin out recently. haha, go pick up 'caring is creepy' by the shins. thats about it. liverpool chelsea this weekend. lets go boys.


yknow i like things the way they are now,
back in the days when the magic existed


fin

- 10:17 pm

3 hour papers are very tiring so now we study(sleep) in the library.
tomorrows the lit paper but im pretty relieved that SEA history is done with- and no paper on friday which means after tomorrow i have a short break but a very welcome one nonetheless. so lets run, fast and free, and never come back.



what you cant change,
you accept.
and what you can?
you'll figure it out.


light 'em up


fin

- 9:39 pm

im waiting for his announcement. so much tension.

roberto carlos and cafu retired internationally. andre agassi is retired. steve irwin has passed on and sean connery doesnt act anymore. and now i wait on micheal schumacher, who has just taken his 90th grand prix victory at monza. everythings happening so fast this year; and the people ive grown up with are stepping out to the spotlight one by one.

ive been a passionate supporter of micheal schumacher for so long. hes been the only thing keeping me on grand prix for his sheer brilliance, and i think he's awesome, with records on practically everything possible, eclipsing even the late, great ayrton senna. he's brought ferrari to where they are now (leaders) and revolutionised the sport. 7 world championships and 40 wins from pole position. thats greatness. micheal schumacher is untouchable.

its a commercial break now but checkered flag will be on in a bit. well, here goes. please stay schumi, please stay.

goodbye, micheal schumacher.


fin

- 10:02 pm

and so it is
just like you said it would be
life goes easy on me
most of the time


and so it is
no love
no glory




fin

- 12:21 am

hold on to your soul baby,
its gonna be a long ride home

what do you truly have
but image; and a being
to go back the next day
like nothing happened
whilst emotions fight
and run wild
through the night
the endless expanse
clouded by the truth
knowing that the next day
will come as it will

and if we dont see tomorrow,
we'll always have today.
but im pretty sure its on the way.

take care nadia, old chum.


fin

- 12:44 am

we all fall down. listening to silence is fun when your in a quiet room with white walls and a white ceiling and bathing in a sea of sterility but its not as fun as damp grass with a dark purple sky and a nice chill breeze for company. i dont want clean unmarked whiteness but i want personality. singing was ever for people who knew they had themselves to lean on during these sour times but we always remembered the pretty girl with the ponytail and the big smile who was flashing us the thumbs up all of 15 years ago with the end of war and the dawning of something new. not so much of a morning as it was the sun rising again in the afternoon, but we tend to confuse ourself with the deluge of imagery and colour drowning out the resonance of the aforementioned silence in our head. yes.

what do you do when a close friend shuts up completely and becomes dead cold for no apparent reason? it happened 10 months ago and again for stress- and i do not know but bitterness is no salve for unopened wounds and compassion doesnt work but pride dictates that with the failure of the latter comes the former, and i dont really care for either because im a nice guy. im a merry old soul with a twinkle in my eye and a skip in my step because im a nice guy. im a jolly young chap who is confounded by the lack of any answer as to his friends dearth of response, im a happy snappy man who doesnt give a fuck because giving a fuck is what people who are blind do- but i see the stars and i see the sky and i see beauty because i know life for a certain uncertain friend. do you remember our videos, our pictures, our everything? do you remember our meetings and outings and summer flights? because i dont want to remember any more and i wont remember anymore because change was not always a bad thing, because for now, change is my friend, because for now, change is my life.

do you remember?
because i dont.

not anymore.


fin

- 11:20 pm

y'know studying is exhausting. but when its in the right place with the right people, its not half so bad. so cheers to hazmi, azizul, sarah, charles, yowie, krithin, james, maxine and snadya.

study-football-study-gym-study-sleep and some food here and there. hello panda and coke. some diet.

this ones for them violent people. relax y'all.


fin

- 11:24 pm

happy onam acha

im too tired to write anything much

but not enough not to thank the rangerette who reminded me,

and offer up a prayer for a young man who's in Big Big Trouble cos he was Very Very Stupid. yes. capitals.

thats it i guess. been studying in skool council area a lot. need lit help look me up. tired. nite.


why is everything so complicated? poetry is so much sweeter for its simplicity.
happy onam grandpa, grandma

fin

- 9:14 pm

he really proved how nothing gold can stay. much love to terri, bindi and bob.

i cant believe this. steve irwin, my childhood hero did in a freak accident today; got his heart pierced by a stingray. steves shows had a huge bearing on my childhood and it was partly due to them that i developed this huge knowledge and love of animals. plus he had his super cool australian accent, charisma and fantastic personality. i feel like ive lost family as two of my heroes are gone from the circuit; steve irwin and andre agassi.
goodbye steve.
ill miss you.



in memoriam,
steve irwin
1962-2006



fin

- 12:07 am

no. this is not a picture advocating communism/stakhanovism. nor is it about the joys of labour according to robert frost. no its about studying hard for your prelim exams. fuck.

tomorrow is monday. monday! THE DAY. fuck gosh its really gonna be monday. what now. what now. okay i got my lines down. the opening and ending that is- fuck wheres my filler? so yeah. get the pizza, get the drinks and get it on. lets get it started like St Maries Cathedral on hallowmas eve- with strippers, beer and of course, the perennial crowd pleaser, jesus. i cant believe im listening to boogie nights by earth, wind and fire. sonofabitch NO. no. wake the fuck up, kid.

the weekends been mad. what the hell is going on? and is sounding vague and ambiguous really the in thing? at least thats what the nice lady with the poster
told me. because if it isnt then maybe im bombing, big time.


i was staring at the sky today. it was so big and vast and expansive; i thought she was trying to tell me something holding the world in her embrace, holding in sway all the beings of the world in provision of respite from their daytime vigil. to never look down and keep moving up, closer and closer to finally return to the origin. after all, that my name. sky.

i dont know. i seem to be slipping into my fits of depression with increasing frequency and hitting these moodswings again and again. it wont stop. it just wont fucking stop. im beginning to wonder if i have multiple personalities. or is it just me? i need to find myself again. all over again. but thats not the issue here. the issue is with tomorrow; for the then and the there.

okay, so here goes nothing-
hopefully, it'll be something.

fin

- 7:38 pm

if i have faith you need to borrow

so heres to everything thats happening right now. to work, to sleep and to more work. good things been happenin in all departments i guess so we heatin things up like its the great singapore sale a summat. i cant believe dheeshas internet keeps screwin up just as the song is almost sent but you cant have it all your way. speakin of, if you're readin this, please download 'jealous guy' and 'woman' by john lennon as well as 'stimulate' by eminem. good stuff.

i was dreamin of the past

i was just watching the first bit of singapore idol and it was mortifying. first this bunch of talentless sods butcher 'hey ya' and then right at the end, after all the cheap technical gimmicks any five year old with a decent flash program could make, they all gather round some random girl with 'big gulp's. talk about blatant, cheap and pathetic. is that what singapore idol is all about? competing for title of the best singer in a non representative group of losers who dont have to worry much about work or skool cos they fucked it up good in swinging ol singapore already? and then taking the top prize PLUS the fantastic addition of promoting 7-11 merchandise in outlets all over singapore? and they wonder why we seem to be so short of talent everywhere- singing, soccer; just about everything short of this saturdays chemistry quiz. in other news i dont like that twohill guy (or any of them for that matter, but he's a special case).

and my heart was beatin fast

i have a friend, rekha who is also a practising doctor- and boy can she sing jazz. she has some voice and has performed in a couple a concerts round the country with some friends to great acclaim but think about this- had she been doing this in another country, say the US, she have made it big by now. real big. but what can i say. we're a small country with no time for these worthless endeavours; so what if life is bland and boring? at least we've got a strong economy! time to face the facts; and fact is, dreams are for non realists. sad innit? thats life i guess. but we can change that! (i think/hope?) naw, naw its not all that bleak is it now harriet? cheer up y'all.

and i began to lose control

in any case i flipped over to the star network to catch ms teen usa 2006 with hazmi and while we were ooh-ing and aah-ing in enrapture i wondered- how come 18 year olds in singapore dont look like this? is there some sorta taxationary measure/ban/fine placed on such things? cos thats the only real thing we seem to have in abundance round these parts. man! ms virginia is something something special. lalala.

i didn't mean to hurt you

no im not saying singapore sucks or anything. we're the shining light of south east asia, one of the strongest economies in the world for our size and our people are wanted everywhere; especially qatar (which is starting to open up with this city of the rich thing and has terribly good prospects) for the service industry. singapore has it made. im finding fault with its people- for our unwillingness to dare, to try new things, simply put- to be different. its not all about being thinkers, leaders and pioneers- dont forget the friends, lovers and creators bit too.

i'm sorry i made you cry

we're the defining generation. we're the next group of young movers and shakers, and so i challenge all of you to be different. to do new and exciting things with your lives (no, im not advocating drugs.) make changes (for the better, mind you) round the country and world. its all yours.

i was feelin insecure

studying is a bitch. it takes so much outta you, but its gotta be done. hazmi and i been studying like dogs the past few days and whoa! both came down with splittin headaches this afternoon. i swear the guys like my brother- he takes the words right outta my mouth half the time. bonus is we got real good music on our side, stimulate by eminem and jealous guy by john lennon. been hittin the gym like nobodys business and the goal is brazilian sets by the end of november. gains are awesome cos now ive finally start to hit 5< pull ups and heavier weights. now benchin a cool 40kg, up from 20 at the start. real proud of our achievement- up and at 'em y'all.

you might not love me anymore

and tomorrow i can head down to sunset with hazmi for soccer- awesome. last two games were brilliant; field was packed but good games all the same. studies gonna take precedence again round mornin afternoonish time but what the hey- its all gonna be worth it. this monday there'll be a little pre-prelis gathering; sarah hazmi james nadia and i. i guess its gonna be a pretty big day though we scrapped the barbeque plans cos deep down inside we're all really too lazy to cook our own food/cant cook to save our lives. i dont know about sarah and nadia, but the best thing hazmi and i ever made was like maggi mee with tabasco sauce and a side can of tuna. don't laugh, its actually pretty good.

so thats it. liverpool arent playing this weekend, but they will next week! yeay.

work it out

fin

mr lovva lovva


akesh*
25 on 10.6.13
Gemini Dragon
foxmastert22@hotmail.com
smu skool of law
raffles junior college
sunset way

the next dream
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brasilia
interbarcaliverpool


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