- 1:02 am

dear sunset people

there will be a tournament in the sunset park in june. please give me your names when you see me over the weekend, or get me on my cell. also, please give uncle harbhajan $15 each for the post match buffet. there will be trophies, as usual, for the winners. its gonna be sweet.

please contact me soon so we can get the date confirmed.

SUNSET!
thanks.

on another note, will be sending out invites later today (in about 12 hours). check your inboxes people, or get me for details unless i get you first in which case oh sod it im confused so whatever everythings gonna work out for the best.

you'll see. you'll all see.
no i'm not drunk.


sleep

fin

- 12:29 am

the book is really the greatest form of mass communication. you write an interesting book, the world loves it and suddenly your famous with your ideas being adopted, challenged, debated and discussed all over the world, which explains why digimon and tamagotchi got knocked out by good ol lord of the rings and the da vinci code, which has thrown its old best selling pal the holy bible into the ring just for kicks.

the da vinci code is an excellent book, and i first read it last year. i have since finished rereading it over the past few days to prepare for watching the movie (which ended fourty minutes ago) and so you can imagine my amusement when after reading it and reaching for my bedside copy of holy blood, holy grail, a book detailing several fallacies of christianity as a creation of the roman empire under which the peoples of the world could be subjugated to a common order through religion- did somebody say pontius pilate? (im sorry ive run on. i love religion. really i do. honest to god.) anyways back to the hand stretching to take book bit- well i happened to look at the authors names and guess what i found.

AUTHORS
MICHAEL BAIGENT
RICHARD LEIGH
HENRY LINCOLN

now take the surnames of the first two authors. Leigh and Baigent.

B-A-I-G-E-N-T = T-E-A-B-I-N-G

so together thats Leigh Teabing. anagrammation even outside the book. good ol mr brown.

now i was supposed to write some long da vinci code inspired passage on the sacred feminine and why sex as a physical and spiritual union between man and woman is a sacrosanct concept maligned by the church- after all jesus did do mary magdalene- but hey, im tired so ill leave you with a quote from Confucius.

"Do it. Do it now. Do it all night long!"
- confucius

so maybe he dint say that but you get my point.
after marriage son, after marriage
its all good.

fin

- 10:32 pm

where?
contrary to popular belief, not all actors engage in spiritual and physical warm ups before every production to get in touch with their characters. some of them really cant be bothered anymore after realising the horse's been beaten to death, and instead take very illegal and ill advised photos. cheers to shu min wai kit jo and i!


the people i just toasted to


for them colgate ad people


akeshs injun mind control tricks were potent


about as potent as an oversized 42 year old


if god had a name, it would be...wolverine


the futures bright. the futures orange.


speak no evil, hear no evil, see no wai kit


that presidential picture


jesus rode motorbikes when he got bored


possibly your daddy since 1988


suddenly, a fearsome dinosaur appeared!


james and bhavan have changed a lot


endin off with sue, love of my life

fin

- 2:12 pm

i hope i die before i get old

gummy bears are rather interesting little things. theyre these small bear shaped gel thingies coming in various colours, and invoke all sorts of sadistic emotion feeling in a person. this is one of the many qualities possessed by the common gummy bear (gummus bearus),its distant relative the gummi bear (gummi bearus) and darius (nymphomaniacus majorus). theyre so versatile and come in so many different flavours, and a challenge to eat as the person eating the bear has to decide how cruelly the bear will be eaten, whether itll be eaten head first, or with its limbs removed, or just crushed between grinding molars (which is actually quite exciting to some people) and it is scientifically proven that these bears actually increase brain activity in small children. Said Dr H.R Formaldehyde, our nearest general practitioner with a diploma in medicine as authentic as that $7 rolex, "these exciting bears increase brain activity in small children, and sexual activity in older ones". shortly after, Dr Formaldehyde was arrested for prescribing gummy bears to a 4 year old with congenital paediatric malocclussions and then to a 27 year old with erectile dysfunction. gummy bears have been described as gummy-licious! and are usually sold in packets of 20 or 30 and manufactured by Sinful Eating Industries which was recently taken over by Wonka Candy Producers run by rich business magnate, Charlie, whose ruthless tactics and execution of benefactor Willy Wonka has brought him great profits, whilst his enslavement of the Oompa Loompas helps provide him with the cheap labour. sadly however, a few have recently escaped and have been said to be going under the alibis of OWUS YEONGUS and WAIKITUS, and if spotted you should call 999, or the SPCA will do just as fine.

ah well.

fin

- 9:10 pm

you know what they say.
you hear it whispered down empty park trails on the brightest of autumn days.
you see the leaves float slowly down to the ground, tossed about by a passing breeze.
you hear lovers caterwaul their various grievances to the world, once more, the voices appear.
the sussurus of leaves in the wind is talking to you, growing louder and louder until it reaches a shrill cacophony of unending sorrow and- you close your eyes.

life is a journey.

its a strange and majestic progression of understanding through the cycle of birth and death, and in all eventuality its the insignificant little things that truly define us for who we are along this path.

where?

we did it. for the first time in ten years, we brought the SYF Gold standard for the Dramatic Arts to Raffles Junior College, and it is hard to explain because it hasnt really hit me yet- but yes, we got the gold;and its for all of you, as much as the experience was for me and my sanity.

i leave you all with love, and a reminder;
for nothing gold can stay.

fin

- 11:14 pm

ive learnt quite a bit in my 17 years 11 months and 20 days of living, and everything ive seen has led me to one conclusion and one thing we can all be certain of. there are so many things, people and places to see and experience, to live with and to love with and they are essentially the main components of our lives. we all maintain our own varying beliefs as pertaining to the meaning of life; and subscribe to our own ideaologies but finally i realise that the only true thing we actually possess are our memories. i live and cherish my memories every single day because they are the things that have made me who i am. these memories are of people and places long gone but im glad for the fact that they will live on forever through me and shine out from my eyes whenever in doubt.

i remember so many things.
i remember sunset way.
i remember thenu.
i remember mansheel.
i remember james.
i remember where.
i remember sing to the dawn.
i remember.

today i went back to sunset.
today i talked with mansh.
everything happened today,
in the afterburn of yesterday.

fin

- 2:12 am

so i guess thats it,
the last bow
and the final act in skool drama

its been a sweet ride

heres to the future and the a's.

a big thank you to everybody who showed, especially my dad, dheesha, nadia hulin namita grace ron rachel james arvind mr hodge and everybody else- its much appreciated.

until we break then,

to live forever,
and love fornever.


fin

- 12:13 am

and its showtime today,
so just relax


and come fly with this phoenix



fin

- 10:00 pm

We were together since we were five
She was so pretty
Emma was a star in ev'ryone's eyes.
And when she said she'd be a movie queen
Nobody laughed
Her face like an angel
She could be anything.

Emily
I'm gonna write your name high on that silver screen.

I'm gonna make you the biggest star this world has ever set

At seventeen we were wed
And worked day and night to earn our daily bread.
And ev' ry day
Emma would go out searching for that play
That never ever came her way.


You know
sometimes she'd come home so depressed
I'd hear her crying in the back room

Feel so distressed.
And I'd remember back
when she was five

To the words that used to make
Emily come alive.

It was cold and dark
December night

When I opened the bedroom door

To find her lying still and cold up on the bed;
A love letter Iying on the bedroom floor

It read:

Darling, I love you but I just can't keep on living on dreams no moreI tried so very hard not to leave you alone. I just can't keep on tryin' no more

Emily


fin

- 1:42 am

what a cup final

steven gerrard saved the day

and it was glory glory liverpool

all the FA cup way


fin

- 3:19 am

what better way to vacate your captaincy than with a hat trick

to sing a song of when i loved
the prettiest star

one day
though it might as well be someday
we will meet again and remember how to play
the sunset way

i love my sunset way


fin

- 9:04 pm

im still waiting for my graveyard train

its funny how night comes to pass and the world changes; everything seen so differently in the day is seen again at night, the sinks low, beyond sight and up comes the moon. its nice that we can find some constancy in these everyday happenings when our own sad short lives are so full of indiscriminate change, when joy pauses fleetingly by the doorstep, and disappears elsewhere and the whole world is so oblivious; and rightfully so. you gotta work to make it last, but sometimes one person cant save a sinking ship-especially if that ship is the titanic, cos you cant turn back time, cos you cant relive past joys and happiness, you can only look back at the mementos of the time and immerse yourself in memories and shadows of an existence completely free from sorrow - but obviously, nothing lasts. just when you think you got it all right, just when you think lifes one step away from perfection - it all comes crashing down again, and sometimes in most dramatic fashion.

consider the purpose of life, and its strange nature. our lives are all interconnected, everything has to happen for a reason, because some everything is driven by reason - and still i contest that, because reason is not the main prerequisite for anything to exist, we all live, and we die, and thats it. the end. life is finite, and life should be pure and free and life should not be a prententious facade, because in life, fewer things bring more joy than music, or love and so on and so forth. consider the part in 'i,robot' when it was mentioned that robots, although non sentient prefered to stand together than to stand alone; and its true, its so damn true, noone wants to stand alone, and then again everybody needs a person, one person to confide in, to do everything and anything with - everybody needs a person, and - what do i care. why do i write? questions questioned, answers unspoken, everything happens - but its the waiting that hurts the most, after knowing what life coulda been life, and what woulda been yours, and finally being able to express yourself in a new way, finally being a person, an individual- finally everything.

no, i dont expect anyone to understand, nor do i want to, ill figure out these strange intricacies woven by the threads of my strange mind, let these thoughts wander about till they find some purpose, which undoubtedly eventually they will. i dont want to go on like this right now, im not gonna accept things for how they are, because any person can change their stars - if they believe hard enough.

everything happens for a reason. and for people too scared to face up to what they feel, understand what they want, know what they need, or do what they want to do for fear of demolishing a carefully built up facade - too bad, cos you know that life is short, and you might as well try to do everything you want to do - no, do everything you wanna do before you die, and these are things best shared with other people, so im gonna get a group of friends and were gonna go around the world and do everything there is to do, and somewhere along the way ill meet that punk goth chick with the black mascara and the cussing and the swearing, or her memory memory, and then well die at the same time either from drug overdose, or grow old and retire after setting up a nature reserve and being its wardens, and god knows ill kill any fuck who tries to come near my animals. on the other hand i might just go to hollywood and do what i can in the drama scene before i die - but i must find that punk rock chick from the past with the long messed hair. or maybe not.

its all so strange, writing again at night, like im a different person. like im tired of being someone else, like im 2 people in one, like i can snap and bite and be mean, and i can also go the other way and be gentle and kind and nice, although this is occuring less and less because there arent many alternatives when all life throws at you is bad, and slowly but surely you feel that bitterness building up inside you, because you know like frost told you, that nothing gold can stay, because youve seen the gold, youve felt the gold and you watch it leave you, and know it all goes without being able to do anything other than having your internals wracked totally for the mere fact that you need to maintain outer appearances because nobody else can know, nobody else can ever know, because when they do - they try to invade your life and disrupt it, and all supposedly for the best intentions. and then you have to be optimistic and hold on to whatever passion you have in life, like i have for drama, and im pretty sure that without that ability to act, i would have died a long time ago, taken that leap- because my drama is most of my life to me, because i live and breathe it, because its a part of me, just like these words that release themselves from the confines of my mind constantly being emptied out in search for some answer, an answer not yet arrived, an answer whichll probably never be answered by me, but by someone else, or their actions. maybe it was all supposed to happen, maybe rending actions were fated to occur, maybe some were forced to suffer mental pain in order to learn the true meaning of suffering, maybe some of us do it to achieve nirvana- which happens to be my original sin as i will understand suffering, and will eventually die, through the deprivation of food from my body, eating only when i really need to so as not to collapse from exhaustion, because i need to learn suffering, to learn to cope with it in its highest form, because i never ever want what happened to ever happen again, because nobody deserves it - because its just not worth it, and nothing is.

or i might be all wrong, and confused and not know what im talking about, because im so damn frustrated at everything that has ever gone wrong, and that short, short list of the only things thatve ever gone right, and all of them are past productions. because whenever something went wrong, i gave up and started again. i let go too easily, because nothing could really affect me, and then the whole thing changed, everything changed, and everything was different - but everything that was ever supposed to be anything was really nothing, a game, and like they said,
what it meant to me will eventually be a memory.
but the sweetest memory yet, for it was a living dream, but all dreams end - and there is finality in everything, except the most lasting things - and for some people - there is no lasting. there cant be an end without a beginning, and i blame me for letting anything ever begin - i was wrong, always have been, and still dont give half a fuck, because ive fucked up every single day of my life, to most people, although its supposed to be going slow, and everythings supposed to be fly- nothing will ever be known. how could anyone understand things, beliefs which have twined themselves so tightly around my central nexus, my soul that they became a part of me? how could anybody understand that i live and breathe emotion, and that i can be emotion incarnate because i did it every day of my life up to now, and know well enough that its not much use hiding anything - and that i made a big mistake for trusting to readily, trusting every person in my life, meeting most people with open arms - a huge mistake, because devoting yourself completely to someone will eventually kill you if its not the same. im sorry for trusting just as i did, ill be proper now.

i really will.

throw your dark cloak on me o scourge of the night, that i may pass unnoticed from this world and this life, for this world was not meant for me.

shine down on me o great ball of fire, for i spread my arms and surrender my soul to thee.

hurt me the most, o object of all desire, for today, we sing a song of cold black water on breezy moonlit nights, because for these few moments before passing, we will have peace - yes, you and i.

fin

- 8:07 pm

and so we all fall down

yes we do kitty cat! yes we dooooo!

when i grow up, i wanna become the grim reaper!

but most importantly i am strongly desirous of having this terrible sadness dissipate - lest i am diagnosed as manically depressed. is it better than criminally insane?

speaking of eh oh, whatever happened to the teletubbies? did barney feel turned on by big momma t-rex in walking with dinosaurs and start working out? did he become a big hunky funky purple (what? to attract lesbians issit?) flesh eating, bone spitting tyrannosaurus?

consider the teletubby themes for some shows (as quoted by raakton bin nontak, their #1 viewer).
dipsy makes custard.
tinky winky finds his ball
lala catches a rabbit
pos wonderful day

why cant they be more like:

dipsy realises hes a bastard.
tinky winky finds his balls.
lala catches dipsy and po at it again.
or even like
po buys illegal semi automatic weaponry and goes on a shooting rampage.

wed probably have tinky winky hauling his big purple arse down to a self help centre before realising that he doesnt really know what sex he is, and that strange antennae on his head is picking up a lot of illegal satellite porn.

or that i dunno what to do and distract myself by writing pointlessly and non comittaly in circles. im just writing for the sake of writing, because all there is left to do is write.

everything else just stops and snaps - all in an instant. funny to think your life is like a raindrop - but the most complicated damn raindrop ive seen, or to be more poetic - a tear. life is a tear. not the one pronounced tare, but tyeer. why, i dont know, but it seems different.

fin

- 1:05 am

felix returns


the adventures of felix catt
www.felixcatt.blogspot.com


miao.


long rehearsals, and a movie on saturday.

rock and roll suicide

give me your hand


fin

- 11:27 pm

happy anniversary my sing to the dawn cast
it wasnt just the start of a play
dont you ever forget that

or you,
who came late,
as usual.

a smile,
a song,
and a lily.

a sunset sunday,
two goals in a 7-2 win


fin

- 5:01 pm

smoke the phenomenon




last nights hijinks were pretty rip
martinis and vodkas
on a sinking ship

fin

- 1:37 am

so cheers to you,
and all the people
we thought we knew

fin

- 4:02 pm

happy birthday dheesha

fin

- 12:13 am

today during the photoshoot, mr vadi very unfortunately fell asleep on a couch happily forgetting that i was around. no prizes for guessing what happened next.


we noted a man sleeping contentedly and happily on a sofa


some of the seven dwarves insisted on seeing him in all his resplendent glory


soon, the national guard had to watch over him


he was however, still the mann

good ol mr v.


fin

mr lovva lovva


akesh*
25 on 10.6.13
Gemini Dragon
foxmastert22@hotmail.com
smu skool of law
raffles junior college
sunset way

the next dream
RJC2A01D

brasilia
interbarcaliverpool


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