Sunday, February 12, 2006
- 2:35 pm
its funny how night comes to pass and the world changes; everything seen so differently in the day is seen again at night, the sinks low, beyond sight and up comes the moon. its nice that we can find some constancy in these everyday happenings when our own sad short lives are so full of indiscriminate change, when joy pauses fleetingly by the doorstep, and disappears elsewhere and the whole world is so oblivious; and rightfully so. you gotta work to make it last, but sometimes one person cant save a sinking ship-especially if that ship is the titanic, cos you cant turn back time, cos you cant relive past joys and happiness, you can only look back at the mementos of the time and immerse yourself in memories and shadows of an existence completely free from sorrow - but obviously, nothing lasts. just when you think you got it all right, just when you think lifes one step away from perfection - it all comes crashing down again, and sometimes in most dramatic fashion.
what has branded us deservant of such sufferances, to live conformist zombie like lives devoid of most joy, since what little there is escapes our grasp, slips through fingers like water from a man dying of thirst, and once again we are steeped in a world of sorrow, and the light fades from the stars, and the star, it is gone, so what do you look up to at night?
and youll never walk alone
liar.
forgive me father for being an unbeliever, anything you ever gave me to believe in, you took away.
[my mother my dog and clowns]
tells the story of a boy trying to find his inner soul in dealing with reality and surreality, his life, and here i place the last paragraph of the last play for the year.
the main character goes by no name, and i shall use ***** to represent him.
it is mainly a monologue, with another 4 actors playing all the side characters.
*****: for now that mine purpose is discovered, what future is there for me? for i have been through sorrow and pain and suffered such ravages as the broken shards of my soul can endure. (lights dim) What lies ahead? Pray tell for now i understand the meaning of my existence, and that meaning is to love, to live and let die. i will move on, devoid of it, and so maintain a facade of inhumanity to fade away into obscurity. for i understand that there is a fine line in the complex web of life entailing and connecting love and death, and the latter is beginning to cast its charms about the empty chasm that hath opened itself up upon my chest, to a torn place which used to be so rich and full of emotion- but it matters not now. the blood, it doth trickle slowly down these wrists (lights dim to near black out, NESSUN DORMA plays), and the light, it is fading. I have outlived my worth, and proved nothing in a lonely world, except that I am as lonely as the world, and have let it all come crashing down; it was my fault, i was never strong enough. my hours spent are gone, it is but failure in clever guise, for emotion was allowed to rule my life, and i experienced devotion to a cause not mine, but to a greater cause, to a person - not this individual self, though i regret it not, it was such folly to tie myself down, and i was.....wrong. Death claim me, for i can never be understood now, i am the chosen one, and now he comes to claim me. (rising crescendo, light blasts brilliantly to stun the audience as ***** raises arms up 90 degrees, and collapses to a snap blackout after shouting 'all is lost!')
blackout
voice: thou art mine!
*****: i am but mine own
the curtains close, followed by the curtain call, as nessun dorma ends.
im still waiting for my graveyard train
Keep each other
from heartache
because the time you share
will become short
consider the purpose of life, and its strange nature. our lives are all interconnected, everything has to happen for a reason, because some everything is driven by reason - and still i contest that, because reason is not the main prerequisite for anything to exist, we all live, and we die, and thats it. the end. life is finite, and life should be pure and free and life should not be a prententious facade, because in life, fewer things bring more joy than music, or love and so on and so forth. consider the part in 'i,robot' when it was mentioned that robots, although non sentient prefered to stand together than to stand alone; and its true, its so damn true, noone wants to stand alone, and then again everybody needs a person, one person to confide in, to do everything and anything with - everybody needs a person, and - what do i care. why do i write? questions questioned, answers unspoken, everything happens - but its the waiting that hurts the most, after knowing what life coulda been life, and what woulda been yours, and finally being able to express yourself in a new way, finally being a person, an individual- finally everything.
Then when you are together
for many years
they will seem like just minutes
Heartache
throw your dark cloak on me o scourge of the night, that i may pass unnoticed from this world and this life, for this world was not meant for me.
shine down on me o great ball of fire, for i spread my arms and surrender my soul to thee.
Keep each other
for your whole lives
Heartache
hurt me the most, o object of all desire, for today, we sing a song of cold black water on breezy moonlit nights, because for these few moments before passing, we will have peace - yes, you and i.
forgive me
hit the stars
