amour amour

Monday, January 09, 2006

- 4:34 am

so 2005 is over. its been a long year; filled with good things and bad shite; but as most fairy tales go (and i do like to believe mine is one); it had a somewhat happy ending. so many things happened to me and the world in that year; and many of them regrettable - hurricane katrina; the japanese tsunamis and various other tragedies which occured to test mans resolve and the strength of the human spirit and guess what? we delivered (and in the interests of political correctness it had better be a boy and a girl), just like fed ex. i learnt a few new things too, like how congress was the opposite of progress, and the uncharted boundaries of a presidents stupidity and how the human race really is the bastard child of mother earth and father time. its been a whirl and a half, a foxtrot down sunset way and a run in the rain but we're out of it; and ready to take whatever the new year has to throw at us (and maybe throw a few of those things back). but yeah. 2005 was a...unique year.

He met a girl that was blind
Shared pain and like-minded
Saw a star go from the sky
And wished that she could see

what better way to kick off the year than break up with a girl you would have sold the world for? january 2005 saw mansheel (mansh belle back then) and i break up under a very strange set of circumstances; miscommunications and a lack of understanding. i guess in a way it was my fault; i did love her (so so much) but lets keep the past in the past. things were getting tough for me; and i hadnt learnt how to cope with them yet- so im glad we broke up; glad that i dint have to make her share any of that burden being her boyfriend- and it all worked out for the best. without that relationship- a huge part of my emotional life woulda been missing- and this year wouldnt have ended on the happy note it did.

these moodswings, they make me, take me and break me

there wasnt anything much in terms of music in 2005; though rammstein outdid themselves with the revelation of reise reise, which formed the staple base of most of my music listening for the year. together with other 2004 shots maroon 5, the darkness and coldplay i spent nights learning to deal with things; comforted for the music around, my writings; and the sky.

my first three months were spent at JJC where i attended anything between 5-10 lessons in total. it was a blast; and i met people who made those three months brilliant, people like jinhong, namita and nabil (very good! very racially harmonious!). singing in front of lecture theatres with nabil, badminton and all those times at kaffa konnection with namita and joking around jinhong and my OG (F3,OG 15) summed everything up and boy does JJ know how to unite people. everybody in skool was a friend, from the PE teachers to the principal. good times.

after that, to RJC where i met my class. although i was pretty much disappointed at the start to note that stallone was part of the class it all disappeared when i realised what a brilliant class i was in- the best in RJC with the likes of bhavan, james, steven and the whole bunch. making videos, idiotic commentaries, a dead class blog and the alone with darius talkshow- just brilliant. skool never looked so good. RJC is huge- and being in it is fantastic; its a great skool, and plenty fun (at least if your in ao1d).

Fire and water never come together
Can't be bound, aren't related
Sunken in sparks, I am aflame
and am burned in the water

then there were the other two girls i went out with- both were from JJC. back then i was desperately trying to get over thenuga and mansheel and as a result i went out with them hoping to get over those two; dint work out. for that i apologise to rupa and priyanka; but its over; and as with mansheel, ill keep the past where it belongs.

smoke the phenomenon

the annual production was okay- daisy pulls it off being confused for bessie takes it off (no its not a porn flick) time and time again although the reason as to why we staged that will forever escape me. i played mr granville. mr granville: the firm- but fair form master of the upper forth. one of the teachers with certain doubts as to the efficacy of the scholarship program - that was the first part of my script. it ended off with much less aplomb then i expected- there wasnt a PPP but i guess that dint matter. nothing so far has ever replicated the togetherness of sing to the dawn, but i guess we'll have to wait and see what happens this year.

untouchable, branded unfuckable

and then it came. wai kit and i emceed for Raffles Institutions Dramafeste 2005- and that was really the dramatic highlight of the year. we had such a brilliant time; the audience were laughing their arses off and i wore the guess shirt i picked up for $350 for the very first time. they were the the two best nights i had this year (with the exception of last night; i spent that with a goddess) ; it was fantastic. we did stand up comedy the whole way; wai kit and i finally consolidating everything like 5 minutes before the first show- he was throwing fits and i was more interested in staring aimlessly into space; but i worked out better than anybody coulda wanted it. during the intermission i ran three laps round the track with dr william tan (the quadripelagic who does amazing things) and then it was back to the show; getting down to business, and then to the business of getting down.

another huge highlight was the champions league; big ears finally came home to anfield after we took ac milan down from 3-0 up; we are liverpool- and that was the special one for all that jose mourinho has had to say about himself. we are the champions of europe- the only team with stevie g and jamie c; our teams the campioni.

i was involved in a short film, Kichiro, which was brilliant because not only did i meet the stunningly friendly and fantastic (and haram) nadia and jessica, i became closer to ying sze and sarah nadya, and i also got stabbed in the groin as kichiro the mass murderer slaughtered us and the rest of the Soon Kee secondary class. huzzah.

I love you
I love you not
I love you no more
I love you no more or less than you
Than you loved me
When you still loved me

it took a full year and then some; but 2005 was the year i got over thenuga and mansheel. i finally realised how i wasnt kept awake every night thinking about them and what might have been; started thinking of what will be; went on and packed those memories within easy reach; i had my first kiss with thenuga on the 2nd of august 2004, and mansheel was just special to me. in that sense ive only had 2 real girlfriends; for the fact that i only truly loved those two with my life; but i stopped the fall, looked up and slept among the stars; once again the night comforted me with sweet murmers through the trees, and fifi and figo were always there. i will never regret anything that happened between us; except for my avoidance of thenuga back when we were friends, just for the fear of falling for her again; but things have changed- and im back on track. for that; and for a lot more, i have to thank you.

The pretty girls are not pretty
The warm hands are so cold
All clocks have stopped
It's no longer healthy to laugh, and soon

2005 saw me pick up the theatresports: celebrate drama! improv comedy for best scene building on another brilliant dramatic night when i was actually me; back on a stage emoting freely and furiously; throwing everything out including the odd inhibition here and there. maybe ill do it again this year; but yeah i love improv; and its something i think ill be doing for a long time yet.

I look for you behind the light
Where are you
I don't want to be so alone
Where are you
I look for you under every stone
Where are you
I fall asleep with a knife

where are you

2005 has been a lotta things, so many memories, just so many things, but ill always remember it for one thing. 2005 was the year i met sital. sital and flufflefluff :) for that matter; although i have things to say- they are just too many; on the goddess, on perfection incarnate, on the stars, on beauty, sweetness and everything and then some, so i guess i will leave now, leave to enjoy the silence.

all my questions unanswered, all their answers unquestioned
and i still owe myself a question

fin 2005

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
told a girl i loved her straight after getting to know her.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions,and will you make more for next year?
i never keep resolutions, so no point making them.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
yeah, my cousin nita.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
yeah.
5. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
a goddess.
7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
the day mansh and i broke up, theatresports, dramafeste 2005 and last night.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
winning theatresports.
9. What was your biggest failure?
breaking up with mansh.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
i damage my legs on a weekly basis. we play soccer everyday during the hols, so yeah.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
flufflefluff
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
nobodys.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
somebodys. also, somebody gonna get a hurt real bad.
14. Where did most of your money go?
down the drain.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
dramafeste emceeing and theatresports.
16. What songs will always remind you of 2005?
amerika, amour and dus bahaane.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? i dont give a shite.
b) thinner or fatter? i still dont give a shite.
c) richer or poorer? richer. third time lucky. still no shite.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
acting and meeting sital.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
killing haters, and time.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
normally..clubbing lah.
21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
yes, right in december.
22. How many one-night stands?
forget that.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
monk, the drew carey show, little britain and nighty night.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn'thate this time last year?
no, i dont hate anybody. i tend not to know them anymore.
25. What was the best book you read?
the namesake, by jhumpa lahiri.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
marios let me love you.
27. What did you want and get?
got my new shoes, got my new wallet and finally met a someone brilliant after ages.
28. What did you want and not get?
better grades,
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
saw 2. and not for the movie.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
17, and i went out with hulin.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
if sital were in singapore.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
long shirts (topman/zara) with jeans (calvin klein/levis), ankle socks and a pair of good shoes.
33.What kept you sane?
my dogs.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
aishwarya rai/angelina jolie
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
the two cases of three viktors actually- the ukrainian presidential election fight between yuschenko and yanakovich, and the jailing of khodorkovsky.
36. Who did you miss?
mansh and thenu
37. Who was the best new person you met?
sital kaur gill.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson: "when life bad, be the smiles." -kirpal

fin