amour amour

Sunday, July 24, 2005

- 5:20 am

yesterday was more than a day; it marked an entrance, and a renewal. of self, of life and of spirit. i dont know; im just glad it happened for the change it is set to bring, and for everything.

july 22nd, friday, at 645 we left, at 730 we were; and at 930 we closed our eyes

yesterday was the longest friday of my life; so many things on my mind, so many thoughts and questions, a soliloquy in black and white. we went down to harbour point; and you looked unhappy. your eyes were flashing in the train, as lights fleeted by, emulating the very same train of thoughts in my mind.

no second guessin; better be ready for confession

we walked up to pastamania; you had the chicken baked lasagna thing, i had that thing with penne. and finally we started talking; in the uneasy tension; the world around eerily silent. not understanding the words; yet completely comprehensive of the situation. and then down by the sea...and gave me exactly what i was looking for; and now. it is a secret to be kept for some time; and we will unveil ourselves in time to come; just not now.

the way you smile, how you like sun zara and main yahaan hoon; your big bright eyes and long silky hair; everything; and i will not press further.

i know i havent written properly for a while; still as things improve inspiration slowly returns; and the need to write is imbued in my self once again. in any case im pretty saddened about my GP results- i got 72.5%; missing an A1 by only 2%; marks falling far beyond expectation, although the same cannot be said for my other subjects; which i rather consolatorarily passed; with the exception of math; having an FEE- all i miss now is my literature grade.

two days ago it was racial harmony day; and i ended up wearing this blue kurta i hadnt touched for ages with a pair of jeans. in typical fashion, i of course tore it although the circumstances under which this procedure took place were rather lamentable. damn. what am i saying. hold on a sec while i slap some sense into my head.

NOW! like i was saying, i was sitting down with my hand on the back of the kurta and was standing up to go to skool when suddenly there was this loud rip much akin to the famous BRRRRRRRRRAAAAH! so often emitted by bhangra men; and my alter ego KIRPAL also known as bhangra man. fine, i admit it.

I AM KIRPAL
of www.xanga.com/kirpal fame.

anyways then i went on and ended up walking around with an ACJC badge pinned to my ear until i realised i had to walk up on stage and had to end up going up pretending to be really embarrassed with my hand on my ear. what the hell man haha such a stupid thing to do, then i came down, trying on various songkoks and finally a turban.

WARNING: NO. I DO NOT FIND TRAIPSING DOWN ORCHARD ROAD WITH SAREE CLAD PEOPLE AMUSING TO SAY THE LEAST. not unless that saree clad person happens to be gorgeous and wearing a dazzling white saree.

so many questions raised about the first and last that never were; and finally ive reached all that i need to- and reach fulfillment.

such is the nature of this life; that many things will be thrown in front of you; in a concerted effort to throw you off balance; to prevent you from really getting where you need to get- still slowly im getting there; and yesterday i was back to how i needed to be.

i dont care; look outside; its dark like its going to rain- look inside and its all so different; bathed in the warm glow of everything right now; like the fine line between silence and spring

im on the outside; and im looking in

the dark clouds depress me; and still,

i forget how to write, with the reminder in my mind that
things are never as bad as they seem; because usually they dont really matter-

and that there is a true state for amour

me and my gemini differential. we been served well.
and till then; we will deny you the true name of sonia;
and then some more.

propheten der apokalypse

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propheten der apokalypse

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rackin' em up since before you were born
(january 2004)