Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour Then leaf subsides to leaf So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day Nothing gold can stay -robert frost-
Sunday, May 15, 2005
- 12:48 pm
we beat VJC in the cricket finals - all hail james kailash muruthi. and bhavan, the world class goalkeeper whos gonna bring us the hockey gold. and akesh whos gonna bring hullett dramafeste gold. yes. hail hail the terrible trio. damnit we make brahma vishnu and shiva look like the power rangers.
memories of past i heed them all to go as they may yet come as i call
you know a lot of things have changed for me in not a lot of time. six months ago i was a completely different person; and three hours ago, after playing a match on poor form, things have changed again.
back last year- i was a different person. id gone through a dramatic change, lost 15 kilograms and was starting to believe in a lot of things. i used to openly trust everyone i knew met and saw, thinking them to be friends, i used to believe that without acting, i had nothing. used to think that love was something really important, really serious, sanctimonious. now i know that its all a pile of crap and i couldnt give a flying fuck for all of them put together.
right before the preliminary examinations last year i got hit by the shock of my life- in retrospect it wasnt that much of a shock considering what an idiot i was; a clingy little fuck. fuck you! id probably tell him, let it slide, chill. i went on to completely fuck my preliminary exams- get hit with 16 points and going to JJC. and this was it - all form of insecurity flying to the surface, and you who i depended on - yes you; were not there. to ease things i fell further away from myself and then broke up with my girlfriend- and again i was such an idiot. you cannot look for support from anyone other than your parents- or in my case my father alone - because everyone else has too many things going on to really bother. i changed my lifestyle and only let a very select group of people in- you know who you are, the four of you. yes my beloved fairy godsiblings and frenchy herself. yet its strange- that although now we're all closer together? i mean shumin and kat are mere classes away? i feel as though were all growing apart; yet it gladdens me to note that i will always have hulin there for me. as for you? im still very confused. so ill chuck that in a corner and let it die- the way we all will eventually.
trace the outline of a smile on a single block of wood watch it come to life like nothing ever could
taum - sturm und blind!
and then now - its either a moodswing or part of my manic depressivity but its coming again.
change.
wilkommen im nicht
come smoke the phenomenon
nothing gold can stay
mr lovva lovva
akesh*
25 on 10.6.13
Gemini Dragon
foxmastert22@hotmail.com
smu skool of law
raffles junior college
sunset way
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--***--
rackin' em up since before you were born
(january 2004)
hit the stars
