Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour Then leaf subsides to leaf So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day Nothing gold can stay -robert frost-
Thursday, March 24, 2005
- 8:51 pm
its strange seeing how much things have changed in the course of a few months; how you changed me and made me who i am today. strange to think how i thought i was strong, how i had everything under control, how perfect i thought everything was, and then how you broke me in a few minutes. how as each word registered i felt numb, and answered you dumbly until an explosion of emotion welled up inside after we spoke; after our quaint realisation of how 'there is a god'. there wasnt. there fucking wasnt. how strange it felt to realise i wasnt as immune as i thought i was; and then to let everything go. to go off food for three weeks and sink into depression knowing that you were lost- and that you left when i needed you most- of how you never really cared the way i did..and how stupid it made me feel. i fucked up most of everything after that but the experience changed me. i fucked up the prelims but i became harder; harsher and imbued with the drive to prove you wrong running myself on the belief that if i worked hard enough the hands of the clock would turn right back and things would be back to the way they were; the way they will never be ever again. for all this what can i say? bitterness doesnt have much of a place anywhere; and you probably arent never gonna read this, so thank you. for once i havent saved this among other things as a draft- though the rest are to remain unread by the world.
memory of amour within the confines of mine own soul, i relinquish thee to rot with thy ethereal companions, and haunt me no more even though i know that this is a huge pile of trigger happy bullshit. fine, not trigger happy. trigger sad. trigger whatever.
fuck you. stop reading this, your just ruining your mind and wasting your time.
nothing gold can stay
mr lovva lovva
akesh*
25 on 10.6.13
Gemini Dragon
foxmastert22@hotmail.com
smu skool of law
raffles junior college
sunset way
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rackin' em up since before you were born
(january 2004)
hit the stars
