Saturday, February 19, 2005
- 1:34 pm
12:51
you seemed depressed by the way you came in,
tell us a story,
i know your not boring
im so tired. its night, and outside the steady creak of chirping crickets fill the air while a slow breeze blows about this humid night. the clouds are so beautiful, high up in their own little haven, the envy of everything beneath them especially me. slowly again depression takes its grip as i swing to depression for so many reasonsl and so few. when the most important things in life and the least important are fused together in one giant amalmagam of a puzzle piece missing from everything that ever was a part of who i was.
emotion is a wonderfully strange little thing..its an essential part to the being especially mine. i live my life through emotion and creative expression- i am the dramatist. emotion however is powerful when honed, and im killing myself; im playing it too high. i dont have much energy left; i need the joy of the dramatic production to throw me back to life but it is held tantalisingly out of reach. this all sounds so stupid.
this world holds no meaning. everything was created for nothing at all; existence exists mainly for its own existential beliefs and the belief that there must be existence for the existence of anything. nothing means anythingl its all another part in a pretty jigsaw puzzle with no particular purpose.
i keep few friends; i hold my real social circles small. its wonderful to be talking to someone who was like a best friend to me again; and then go watch movies with her.
maybe things are better, maybe things are worse, i dont know.
im just exhausted.
ramesh's panathea
hit the stars
