Wednesday, October 27, 2004
- 7:56 pm
its dark and cloudy - and you hide yourself from view. you in your all encompassing beauty and glory hidden in the clouds, taking refuge in the night. the calm smooth softness of night, waves of sound emanating from the cab nearby like ripples cutting through melting butter, the air cool, and heavy with moisture.
i thought id had it all covered. i thought i had you all misled. i thought nothing could shake this anymore. i guess i was wrong.
the lamp post outside glows a pale yellow, as the dark silhoette of a bat slides past, the feral shadow momentarily startling me, and then everything sinks back to normality. drab, dull,monotonous normality.
the buena vista social club cuts through the night now, cuban jazz, better than my los del rio.
when i reminisce, ignorance was bliss, in the days that the magic exist
im through with hoping. closure was reached some time ago. a dusty old book i dont want to open again, stained with the passage of time, and blood from my arms, blood from my heart, my soul, my wholeness. it is now a part of me, and will be until it is replaced. until the old memories are taken up by new ones.
akesh* says:
i dont know, nor do i care, because knowing what kind of person i am isnt rlly gonna change how i live or anything. i like doing things wild, im usually reckless and carefree, but somethings - mostly involving other peoples comfort zones, etc, i take care. friends are very impt- so i pick them carefully and develop only certain friendships. i throw every part of me into a relationship, im not the aloof sort. i dont go looking for relationships except with very exceptional people, who i havent met till recently, and i realised it wasnt gonna ever work out the way i woulda wanted it to, i dont like being part of a crowd, id rather stand on with a few close people, rather than an army of fair weather friends, i crave the stage,for the freedom,but am not particularly enamoured by the attention it brings, and care nothing much for popularity, and believe in being true to myself 24-7. i can manipulate emotion quite easily when i want to, and i play with emotions a lot, because theyre my life, and mine are mine. my mind is my life, my act is my life, i do things however i want, and will not be changed by the opinion of another unless that person was rlly impt. i love my dog with all my heart, and trust people too much i think. i never forgave anyone who ever betrayed me, etc, and dislike violence unless im rlly rlly provoked, i support the weaker person in any fight because i love the challenge, i like adrenaline rushes and surges from reckless behaviour and deeds, and im glad for being me although people might hate me or love me or anything-im me
akesh* says:
and i dont care.
take that parthenon,
your gonna have to smoke it like a phenomenon if you wanna get any closer-
your not me.
break
fin
hit the stars
