Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour Then leaf subsides to leaf So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day Nothing gold can stay -robert frost-
Monday, August 30, 2004
- 11:15 pm
rameshs anathesa
i put a spell on you
yesterday i played so damn hard i scored the best goal in my 12 years of soccer.
boon has passed to james who is surging up the right flank, so i decide to cross over and somehow! get the ball from his feet with a sublime tap, and so bring it up with him chasing me, and eventually allistair comes on to my left side and is blocking me, and just as im coming up the side i unleash a savage shot goalwards from a tight angle which goes right pass the keeper, evan, and out of reach to settle in a corner - the sweetest goal of my life.
Don't get me wrong,
I love these ho's
It's no secret, everybody knows
Yeah we fucked, bitch so what, that's about as far as your buddy goes
We'll be friends, i'll call you again, i'll chase you around every bar you attend
Never know what kind of car i'll be in, we'll see how much you'll be partying then
You don't want that, neither do I, I don't want to flip when I see you with guys
Too much pride, between you and I
Not a jealous man, but females lie
But I guess that's just what sluts do, how could it ever be just us two
I'd never love you enough to trust you, we just met and I just fucked you...
sigh. im wondering what happened, and what to do, cos i dunno. im feeling real lost cos the worlds a lost cause and my life is mine to make, so im busting outta here, gonna make me a name someplace else. anything that ever meant anything will probably be engulfed by a harsh facade, bitterness, everything and anything for the world and watching every single one of my lights put out, watching everyone leave one by one, splitting, rejecting advances, waiting and wondering, seeing ramya leave- because im not who i thought i was. im in for the emo, because i thought i perfected it, but i could never've been more wrong, because see where it got me- which leads us to the belief that emo brings nothing but pain, but there is beauty in life and emotion and i will cultivate it like my source, because my emotion is my life and my soul, and everything that ever was will never be, because things get newer and old things fade while somethings remain constant, as we push on and realise that it was all ever for self fulfillment and realisation. some people find it in love, some in solitude, some in tough, rough, mean facades which arent really them, some who force themselves to never show an emo side because theyre so disillusioned by everything they wont ever give it a chance. like one guy put it, and very correctly so,
love; some people get it,
to some its a glove that never really fitted,
to me its a pain in the ass,
but im addicted to the taste of hoping it could last
on another sadder note, i refuse to eat peanut butter considering the fact that i, like an idiot, when to read max's post on peanut butter and what it was to her. evil girl. our coms will meet someday and fornicate in computer hell if 'a' has his way.
its strange being unattached sometimes, because its so much easier living for someone else because then you know that everything you do or say, or the mere fact that you continue living each and every day isnt for yourself, but for someone else, and its - its creation.
pretty woman, dekho dekho naa
as im reading these old convos, various emotions are rushing back to me, unsuppressable, and i dont understand. then again what did i ever understand, but for the fact that if youre sad- and you havent already? go fall in love, because its the best thing that could ever happen to you, cos you wont be alone in this lonely world ever again - just because.
things have changed.
and if it was ever my fault, shoot me,
theres nothing left in this life.
nothing gold can stay
mr lovva lovva
akesh*
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Gemini Dragon
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--***--
rackin' em up since before you were born
(january 2004)
hit the stars
