Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour Then leaf subsides to leaf So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day Nothing gold can stay -robert frost-
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
- 7:57 pm
im still waiting for my graveyard train
its funny how night comes to pass and the world changes; everything seen so differently in the day is seen again at night, the sinks low, beyond sight and up comes the moon. its nice that we can find some constancy in these everyday happenings when our own sad short lives are so full of indiscriminate change, when joy pauses fleetingly by the doorstep, and disappears elsewhere and the whole world is so oblivious; and rightfully so. you gotta work to make it last, but sometimes one person cant save a sinking ship-especially if that ship is the titanic, cos you cant turn back time, cos you cant relive past joys and happiness, you can only look back at the mementos of the time and immerse yourself in memories and shadows of an existence completely free from sorrow - but obviously, nothing lasts. just when you think you got it all right, just when you think lifes one step away from perfection - it all comes crashing down again, and sometimes in most dramatic fashion.
consider the purpose of life, and its strange nature. our lives are all interconnected, everything has to happen for a reason, because some everything is driven by reason - and still i contest that, because reason is not the main prerequisite for anything to exist, we all live, and we die, and thats it. the end. life is finite, and life should be pure and free and life should not be a prententious facade, because in life, fewer things bring more joy than music, or love and so on and so forth. consider the part in 'i,robot' when it was mentioned that robots, although non sentient prefered to stand together than to stand alone; and its true, its so damn true, noone wants to stand alone, and then again everybody needs a person, one person to confide in, to do everything and anything with - everybody needs a person, and - what do i care. why do i write? questions questioned, answers unspoken, everything happens - but its the waiting that hurts the most, after knowing what life coulda been life, and what woulda been yours, and finally being able to express yourself in a new way, finally being a person, an individual- finally everything.
throw your dark cloak on me o scourge of the night, that i may pass unnoticed from this world and this life, for this world was not meant for me.
shine down on me o great ball of fire, for i spread my arms and surrender my soul to thee.
hurt me the most, o object of all desire, for today, we sing a song of cold black water on breezy moonlit nights, because for these few moments before passing, we will have peace - yes, you and i.
nothing gold can stay
mr lovva lovva
akesh*
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Gemini Dragon
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rackin' em up since before you were born
(january 2004)
hit the stars
