Monday, March 15, 2010
- 1:40 PM
these have been days i have not seen (felt) for nights. to the quiet solitude, i propose a toast; but solitude isn't so bad when its shared. the night skies have never been brighter (and not because of signal flares) nor have morning skies been darker, for they mark the end of that joyous sojourn you took through your thoughts.
in being yourself is the realness found; in expression, in action, in your art; for only then are you free. you limit the circumstances when this may be (oh judgmental society!), but when you recognise your shared insanity (or mutual, exclusive sanity. woof) its a kind of freedom as well. there is a return to being; and for that, thanks are duly accorded.
they have been lonely nights and magical walks; tales of leprechauns and people on horses (heah!), with yeu thaire, whats yer prefesshun's and wah kam eh ki ah's; with just a smattering of teh and a miao-ing dinosaur put to paper. im pretty sure we paid our league fees too. canis and ursa, majors and minors; scrappys and scoobys.
there are things you learn on quiet nights; like how to look to the stars for your answers; and how you see so much more when you look away. truly, they must be special for they refuse to look you in the eye; shining proudly down whilst you gaze ruefully back, losing yourself in the brightness of the night until you remember your presence of being and turn back. again, thank you. i have found more stars.
these have been unexpected days. i found the art of my heart in the heart of my art; and i've found myself again these past nights.
i hope you are okay.
fin
Thursday, March 11, 2010
- 7:08 PM
it rained today. for the first time in a long time, the rain fell down. sometimes i wonder where i'd be if i fell as often as the rain but i'll leave those thoughts to the future because they lack relevancy right now. as does everything else. then you start to think, and you tend to wonder about the what am i doing where am i going how am i gonna pull myself through this?'s that you find yourself in; and then they say that the answers to these questions are written in the stars. which is basically not an answer at all because they're not.
they can't have been written in the stars because they were never there. there is only one place these answers can seek refuge from the harshness of reality and that's the darkest place in the world; you'll find them written on the walls of your heart, to course through your veins when you discover them. if you want to.
then again these days are so hot you probably wouldnt be able to think even if you wanted to; so the rain provides blessed reprieve from this constant onslaught we've been subjected to.
i find myself writing aimlessly. there is no point to this. everything is becoming so artificial; the naturalness of the world slowly slipping away.
read the walls
fin
Saturday, February 20, 2010
- 10:30 AM
long days pull themselves along; they do not know where they go but theyre sure they must be going somewhere. these are times crying out for renewal, when the spirit of the era decided to stop visiting these happy haunting grounds so where's the love now?
i don't know; i don't have all the answers anymore. the world is a bigger place now, and sky is more far away a place as its ever been. i don't actually know if its the world growing bigger or my growing smaller but hey; i guess thats the theme of the day- i don't know.
sometimes its good not knowing. go lose yourself.
fin
Monday, January 18, 2010
- 12:26 AM
it feels like my days of glory have come and gone, and now all that is left is this ache in my head. i have questions about the futility of being but these are queries that fall upon the deaf (and might i add nonexistent) ears of the sky. and the leaves always seem to whisper these forbidden things to the wind; maybe you should start talking more with other people but you find yourself growing increasingly reclusive; you know what you want but it is a peace that is becoming increasingly difficult for you to find.
i met pam that day. it was like something was missing in our speech; there was little left to say and little left to care about; but for a newly dead familiarity it was like nothing changed, except that by then everything had.
to that end, all you'll be left with are dim lights, cuban jazz and the startlingly black frames of trees framed against a purple, white or blue sky. purple works fine for me though; and we'll turn the jazz up, though just a little bit.
lips like morphine, killing the pain in my head, of the thousand sandstorms formed from days gone past
ill keep my dim lights. you can stay a secret better that way. then again, some people see well in the dark.
the end.
fin
Monday, January 04, 2010
- 10:40 AM
i'm in class right now.
what is there that is left to say?
i don't know.
this unhappy silence.
fin
Thursday, November 19, 2009
- 9:20 PM
i break worlds open; look into them and feed the stars with stories of their incomprehensibility. the questions are always the same; in the big picture, where do we fit in? and then you figure that you don't really have to, because things are always much better this way. always. a floating entity in the voidless reality. it cannot be emptiness you look for; emptiness comes unlooked for within; where without everything else passes by in a frenzied blur; you stop and let things pass you for a while. don't really want to become a part of that mess, too many things happening to get caught up in. i'll live my own worlds, and my own words, thankyouverymuch.
im tired of these breaks in the earth. one day ill fall through the cracks just to see what there is to see, but not today. for now its time to make new nows. newness, newness. why does everything have to be new anyways. im returning to an old new. word on the street is its in vogue right now.
go figure
fin
Sunday, November 15, 2009
- 11:26 PM
there is a new kind of emptiness inside me.
i don't want to anymore; don't need it.
now to burn; burn the past away.
today was a day of cleansing; and there is renewal.
make new days; but keep your eyes on the sky.
goodbye.
fin
hit the stars
